Monday, September 21, 2009

enjoying the journey

Oh my! What a Monday morning! I'm not sure why Mondays are such insanely frustrating days, but it seems to be becoming a trend. Although, the more I think about it...Mondays aren't the only days of the week that my patience is as thin as paper and "ugly mommy" comes out in full force. I could blame it ALL on the kids and say they are the cause of all this frustration and little old me is just trying to be mommy, but to be fair I should also take a little (a lot) of the blame on this one.

As I type, my two sweet angels are sleeping soundly...after less than 3 minutes of their head hitting the pillow (or the crib sheet). This, my friends, is a GREAT indication that they were simply exhausted. Acting out from their exhaustion is one way children cope when they are tired. In fact, anyone who is tired can get a little grumpy. It's just one of those obvious signs of exhaustion.

So, in the quiet of the house, I sit here to collect my thoughts on what it takes to get rid of "ugly mommy"...for good. You know the one. She snaps at her kids, huffing and puffing and complaining to them because they just don't listen to their mommy. She stomps around the house looking all grumpy and has a constant frown on her face just because. She tells her kids to do this and that when all they want is for you to stop and listen to their needs. It's hard giving up yourself all day long. And it's exhausting. Hmmm...go figure.

Simply put: Giving up of ourselves, as mothers, is what is required of us and I need to learn how to be OK with that. Not just OK, but HAPPY that I get to stay home with my children and tend to their needs. All. Day. Long. It doesn't mean I don't deserve to do what I want to do for myself (because WE do!), but it's about balance. Priorities. It's about enjoying the journey. Sometimes this journey of motherhood will take me places I really wish it wouldn't have. But other times it will take me places that I would go over and over again.

It takes a conscious effort, time with God (which I've been lacking), and desire to be who I am designed to be. Not perfect. Not flawless. But willing. Willing to see the big picture and to enjoy the journey.

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This is one little girl who is definitely enjoying her journey...and even dancing through it.

14 comments:

Shelly said...

If you've never read Sarah's blog at Clover Lane, you will love her! She has a great post today that touches on what you're discussing. I am often right where you are today, and was there even more often when my boys were smaller. Here is the link to today's post at Clover Lane. Take care! http://memoriesoncloverlane.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-not-to-regret.html

Sarah said...

Hi there friend! You know that I am right there with you. With the wonderful BLESSING of Jeremy's extra work it has thrown me into FULL TIME mommyhood. At the end of last week I was literally in tears not just because of the kiddos misbehavior but beacuse of my own! You called it, it is a "journey" and a huge lesson to be mommy. We must remember this is only a short while even though at the moment it seems like forever. Love you! :-)

Michelle said...

So true and you are so wise!

Jodi Stilp said...

Heidi - I loved this post and it was so well written. Sorry to hear you're having a grumpy day. Who can't relate to that? Ugh. I think this post goes well for the newsletter too. You should send it to Tammy. I'll be praying for you that you find consistent time with God and that He rewards your obedience with a fresh filling of the Holy Spirit and patience. It's tough work being a mom, eh?

Kim said...

Love the pictures of Mikayla dancing and yes I totally understand the "days". I hope the afternoon goes better!

He & Me + 3 said...

Boy do I wish I could find that balance all the time. Love the collage.

Kelli @ RTSM said...

What a great post...and just what I needed to read today! It's nice to know that other moms are going through the same things as me and react the same way too! It is really hard giving up yourself all day long....and I need to work harder on enjoying the journey! Thanks for the awesome post!

Dawn said...

Cute dance pictures!

Thanks for writing this post and sharing it with us. It's giving me alot to think about.

Jennifer W. said...

One of the best things about the blogging community is reading that I am not the only imperfect mom. Thanks for sharing. Sometimes we need reminders to help keep us on track.
Jen

Emily said...

So true...great words of wisdom. And that picture of you and Mikayla is so cute!!!

Miller Racing Family said...

This was a wonderful post. I think every mommy goes through this. I know I get in the attitude that I do everything around here and get no time to myself. I do agree that time with the Lord and time by yourself relaxing does help to make a happy mommy. I do love the photo of Mikayla dancing. Your photo doesn't look like a grumpy mom.

Sarah said...

Thank you for reminding me to "enjoy the journey" of my job as a stay at home mom.

Sarah Ondracek said...

Thank you for sharing what was on your heart. It reminds me that it's okay to have mommy moments yet at the same time to enjoy this journey we are on;)

Russell Family said...

Good post Heidi and well written! It is so true that we are on a journey and God has that path set out for us! We all have the moments that you describe and that is okay, we are only human. Hope that God brings you peace on your journey :)
The dancing pics are too cute!

 
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