more than just a granola bar

Lately, I have really been feeling the Lord showing me that He wants me to give more. Give what is still unclear to me at times other than I know that I just need to BE STILL and trust that He will show me in what areas I can do that...and when. Whether it be giving of my time, giving of my money, giving of my gifts, or giving of my listening ear, I just want to be open in all aspects of what He has to say to me in how He wants me to give!

The other day I experienced a moment of giving that seemed so small in comparison to so many other opportunities to give BIG, but in that moment it was such a "happy heart" kind of feeling that it felt bigger than it really was!

I, along with 20+ others was standing in a line at a local consignment sale. It was a long line (to say the least) and we all had been standing there for at least 20 minutes. I could hear there was some commotion going on in the back of the line and so I turned around to see what it was.

Standing there, was a mother of two. One baby strapped to her chest quietly observing and another who was beginning to show the signs of a full on tantrum. You know the kind...where you just want to melt into the floor of embarrassment because it's your child making the scene. I could tell the mom was doing her best to keep her patience, but with every second that passed by the little girl (who I believed to have been 2 or 3 years old) got louder and louder and more persistent about this tantrum she was adamant about having.

The clock ticked by and you could see all the eyes glancing back at this poor mom...a few glares were probably in the midst. I was trying to figure out what I would have done in this situation. I probably would have left the bags and ran...heading straight to the car where I would have cried my eyes out in frustration! But, this mom, was not budging. She was doing the best she could by trying to calm the little girl down and then I overheard the little girl say (or more like yell)..."but I'm so hungry right now!"

A couple more minutes went by and you could see the people around her tense up and start to ask questions to the mom like "what does she need?" That poor mom had a look of HELP ME in her face, but yet didn't know what to say. Then it dawned on me...I had a granola bar in my purse that I had brought with me as a snack (long story short, I had just finished working a 4-hr volunteer shift at the consignment sale). I reached in my purse, pulled out the granola bar and walked over to the mom and gently said, "I don't know if this would hurt or help, but do you think she would want a granola bar?"

It was in that moment that I knew I had done exactly what I should have. This mom looked at me like I had just given her the best gift she could have asked for her. You could just see it in her eyes. She said to me, "Are you sure?" And, I replied, "Of course." And with a thank you from the frazzled mom, I turned around and went back to my place in line.

It took a few minutes for the little girl to comprehend what her mom had in her hand, but another minute later and the room was quiet. You could almost hear everyone around her take a sigh of relief. I didn't need to make it a big production, so I could get "credit" for doing a good deed. I tried my best to do it in quiet (even though I still heard whispers of "that lady gave her a granola bar"). I did it because it was the right thing to do and I had something to give.

As I stood there in line glancing back at the little girl every now and then with a book in her right hand and a granola bar in her left hand, I'm pretty sure I caught a glimpse of contentment and dare I say...happiness on her tear-stained face. Not only on the little girl's face, but from the mom, as well.

It was such a great feeling to know that I had blessed this mom in the most tiniest of ways, but yet I knew it was in a BIG way for her. I have been there. The tantrums. The embarrassment. The "I don't know what to do right now" kind of thoughts. Not only was I able to give the little girl what she needed (food), but I was able to give the mom what she needed, too (help). For the next 15 minutes I didn't hear one peep out of that girl. Now, I don't know if she started up again after I left the building after checking out (let's say not!), but for the time that I was there, my heart was full. And even as I pulled away from the parking lot and headed home, my heart was full. In fact, 3 days later, it's still full. Full of happiness that I could give something so little to someone. Just imagine how full my heart would be if I give more than just a granola bar. And, I'm choosing to embrace the thought of what that might be...

oh my

Over the last month or so, Ryan and I have been discussing about what life would be like with 3 little ones. (I don't think it has anything to do with the long list of friends who are having or recently had a baby. Couldn't be.) We happened to be discussing this very topic in the car a couple of weeks ago. Mikayla must have overheard the conversation and needed to put her two-cents in. She matter-of-factly stated:

"Mommy, you can have a baby
and I can have a doggy."

Not sure it's going to work out like that, sweet girl.
Besides, I think you have enough "friends" to snuggle with for now.

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Goodness, I don't even know why I have been MIA.

My plate is full, but not that full.

Hope you're enjoying all of the fun, fall festivities!

{one of the cards for my next Stampin' Up! event}

enjoying the journey

Oh my! What a Monday morning! I'm not sure why Mondays are such insanely frustrating days, but it seems to be becoming a trend. Although, the more I think about it...Mondays aren't the only days of the week that my patience is as thin as paper and "ugly mommy" comes out in full force. I could blame it ALL on the kids and say they are the cause of all this frustration and little old me is just trying to be mommy, but to be fair I should also take a little (a lot) of the blame on this one.

As I type, my two sweet angels are sleeping soundly...after less than 3 minutes of their head hitting the pillow (or the crib sheet). This, my friends, is a GREAT indication that they were simply exhausted. Acting out from their exhaustion is one way children cope when they are tired. In fact, anyone who is tired can get a little grumpy. It's just one of those obvious signs of exhaustion.

So, in the quiet of the house, I sit here to collect my thoughts on what it takes to get rid of "ugly mommy"...for good. You know the one. She snaps at her kids, huffing and puffing and complaining to them because they just don't listen to their mommy. She stomps around the house looking all grumpy and has a constant frown on her face just because. She tells her kids to do this and that when all they want is for you to stop and listen to their needs. It's hard giving up yourself all day long. And it's exhausting. Hmmm...go figure.

Simply put: Giving up of ourselves, as mothers, is what is required of us and I need to learn how to be OK with that. Not just OK, but HAPPY that I get to stay home with my children and tend to their needs. All. Day. Long. It doesn't mean I don't deserve to do what I want to do for myself (because WE do!), but it's about balance. Priorities. It's about enjoying the journey. Sometimes this journey of motherhood will take me places I really wish it wouldn't have. But other times it will take me places that I would go over and over again.

It takes a conscious effort, time with God (which I've been lacking), and desire to be who I am designed to be. Not perfect. Not flawless. But willing. Willing to see the big picture and to enjoy the journey.

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This is one little girl who is definitely enjoying her journey...and even dancing through it.

something about those shoes

I'm thinking it's about time we get rid of these shoes...

You think!?

Oh my goodness, this is embarrassing. For some reason Austin has this strange attachment to these shoes. He loves them and wants to wear them ALL THE TIME. The other night, he even wanted to wear them to bed. Really?

On Sunday, we were forced to let him wear these to a birthday lunch for my brother because it would have been a nightmare of a time if we didn't! I just wanted to keep the peace, and so he wore the shoes.

On the way home, Ryan and I devised a plan to get him to start wearing his other shoes. I never thought we would have to do a shoe intervention on a 2-year old...on a boy for that matter!

I knew at least a week or so ago that it was about time for new shoes and since it's still sandal weather here in Oregon, I took him to Payless Shoe Source and we found a cool new pair of Cars shoes. Was he excited about them? Not even in the slightest. Hello!? They even light up in the back! I never buy shoes that light up! But I thought maybe he actually would wear them because of that. The only thing he liked to do with them was hit them on the ground to watch them light up.

So, we took them back.


Just on Saturday, while out hitting up some garage sales with Mikayla, I found a pair of green Crocs for $1.00! His size, great condition, and so I thought to myself, "score!"


Nope. Wants nothing to do with them.

In fact, he would rather wear his water shoes than wear a perfectly brand new pair of every day shoes. And, as you can tell, pretty soon we'll be seeing his toes pop through on these, too.


And, then there's the time I mistakenly let Austin play outside in an almost brand new pair of shoes, and a couple of days later found this...


It still hurts me just to look at these! Good thing I only paid $3.74 on clearance back in January. Although, I kind of thought they would last longer than oh, let's see...2 days!!

After some smart thinking (and a couple pairs of ruined shoes), I finally thought to make an "outside shoes only" basket to keep in the garage.

Could have used that A LITTLE EARLIER in the summer!!


What's the culprit to all this madness?

Just watch and you will see...



Curious on where those shoes in the first picture are?

In the garbage.

Pray for us.

put a smile on your face

We've been having a few *new* issues lately with Mikayla throwing some major fits out in public. I haven't yet had to deal with this much with her, so it has taken me a bit by surprise, and I have found the need to evaluate the best way to "handle the situation". I must admit that I'm not too good with this sort of thing (if you know me, you know I'm a stress case!). My quick fix is to just stay home and never go anywhere. Obviously, that would mean admitting defeat, and I'm not willing to go there.

So many emotions arise out of this struggle between mommy and daughter (and many days, mommy and son). But, I know that every day there will always be something that will challenge me as a mom. How else would I grow? So, in dealing with those "no good, horrible, very bad days" I will not give up and admit defeat, but instead I will put a smile on my face, and figure out how we can help each other learn from the experience. Because truly Mikayla is really good with talking with me about the reasons she acted the way she did and how we can fix it for next time. Sweet and sour, I tell ya!

Now, I know this might sound all sugar-coated, but for me to work through this, I have to remind myself that this sweet baby girl will not be little forever. If I'm "wishing away" these toddler years, I will surely want them back when she is older. So, for now I'm holding onto each day, even those that are filled with tears.

When I hear that "3 is now the new 2", I have no other choice, but to embrace it.

And how can you really stay mad at a 3-year old who leaves this on the dining room table?


Or that makes her own little smiley-face pizza...


And when giving her good night hugs and kisses after a long and trying day, says to me... "Mommy, you're my best friend."

No, I will never wish these days away...

the truth is written all over her face

On Friday morning soon after I woke up, I baked four dozen chocolate chip cookies for our local MOPS Rummage & Bake Sale that was happening the next day. While the cookies cooled on the cooling racks, and I had set up a video for the kiddos, I jumped in the shower. While putting on my makeup, Mikayla walked in and it was then that I noticed a tiny (but still noticeable) hint of chocolate on her face...


When I asked her if she had eaten a cookie, she stopped, grinned, tried to lick it off her face, said no, and ran away. Hmmm...seems a bit guilty to me.

Throughout the morning, I tried to get the real truth out of her, just for curiosity sake. I thought it was more comical than anything, but she continued to say that she hadn't eaten one, but every time I asked, she hid her face and said no.

Still a bit suspicious.

At nap time, after our usual routine of reading a book, singing our songs, and kisses, I decided to try one more time and I asked her if she had eaten a cookie. She looked at me with a little glimmer in her eye and said, "I don't think so?"

At least we're getting closer to the truth...

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And, speaking of chocolate...Austin decided to partake in some generic Cocoa Puffs the other morning after a trip to the Dollar Tree. (Mikayla insisted on choosing this for a snack and passed up on a princess coloring book. Seriously!?)

Note to self: Not a good idea. Way too much of a mess. You should have seen his hands.

just one {or two} of those days

This weekend went by in a blur it seemed.

We had to cancel my "already postponed" birthday celebration on Saturday (after spending the morning cleaning house) because Austin woke up from his nap with a high fever. No point in spreading the germs any more than we already had. I think we're going to give up on rescheduling. I'm old. I'm over it.

I threw a baby shower on Sunday for a good friend of mine (pics to share later!), so I shooed the hubby and kiddos out the door to my mom's house and hosted a fun time filled with ice cream sundaes and some cute baby girl clothes. Almost makes me want another one. Almost.

After clean up, the kids and Ryan came home and Austin's temperature was even higher than it was yesterday. Poor little guy...we could have used him as our blanket he was so warm.

Ryan was still feeling a little less than his best, and I was even starting to feel some achiness. Mikayla was the only one who was happily running around, bouncing off the walls. In his lethargic state, Austin fell asleep on daddy around 6:30 and they both enjoyed a 15 minute snooze.

Then we woke him up to change him into his pajamas. That was a mistake.

He wasn't too happy about that...

Don't you just love the hair?

By this time, it was time to fix something to eat, but I had little to no motivation for that. I knew Austin wasn't going to be up for eating anything, and really the only one who wanted to eat was Miss Bubbly herself.

In my attempt to keep up with Mikayla's "I'm the only one not sick" (and might I add a little bossy) attitude, I decided that this would be the perfect chance to whip up a muffin tin dinner. This week's theme was ORANGE, so Mikayla and I scoured the pantry and the refrigerator for all things ORANGE. She had a lot of fun helping me find something for her to eat. And I do have to say, it cheered me up a bit, too!

top row: cheddar cheese sticks, mandarin orange jello, peaches
bottom row: mandarin oranges, goldfish crackers, carrots

Is this the most nutritious meal ever? No. But it could have been a lot worse. (Check out Her Cup Overfloweth for more moms who went ORANGE for Muffin Tin Monday!)

After the kids were in bed, I sat on the couch (with my feet up and some Amazing Race playing on the TV) to work on a baby announcement I'm creating for a friend. After almost two hours of work, I was so excited about how it was turning out...and then my laptop unexpectantly shut off.

Guess who didn't have it plugged in?

And guess who hadn't saved it yet?

And as I type this, the scratch in my throat is getting annoyingly worse and my knight in shining armor is desperately trying to find my lost work on the laptop to save the day for his damsel in distress.

He's still my knight even if he can't find it.

I'm tired. It's late. And I'm praying that no kids get up in the night, especially the one who was once bubbly. I'm still holding out hope that she will escape the sickness.

This mommy needs her sleep.

She also needs to learn to use the save button a little more often.


*Don't worry...it's not all bad. I do have something fun to share very soon! I used some birthday money over the weekend and took advantage of a 40% off sale at Michaels and found something that will help spruce up my creative space. As my daughter would say, "that makes me so happy".

as the story goes...

Pack for vacation....a week's worth of stuff for only 3 days.

Leave a clean house. There's something about coming home to clean.

Had a great time on our 2 day trip to the beach with the Moore's. Lots of pictures and fun times to be shared later.

Home again with no major fits. Thank you, Nemo.

Unpacked the car. Dumped everything in the living room. Too tired to sort.

Kids let loose from the car like they had been caged animals, adding to the mess already made from unpacking the car (see below picture).

One word (or two?) Naptime!

Car in serious need of a deep cleaning inside and out. Left the mess in the house (pretending like it's not there) to tackle the mess outside. Minivan shines like new!

Distracted by the horrendous cluttering of the garage. Left Ryan to tackle. Sorry, Babe.

Austin naps 40 minutes (typical). Mikayla naps 3+ hours!! Probably catching up on sleep from her 6:00 AM "rise and shine" mornings at the beach. Not the highlight of the trip.

Ryan and Mikayla wash both cars.

Heidi is distracted by the computer, checking e-mail and looking through all the fun pictures of our mini-vacation as Austin plays at her feet...literally.

Off to make...er, get...dinner.

Then to turn this house back to NEW before the kids head to bed.

Wishful thinking?



Anyone empathize?

just a little mommy talk

One thing I can say about being a stay at home mom is that, surprisingly, I always find something to fill my time during the day. Most of the time I stay busy with "kid duties". You can probably imagine what those might entail and most of you reading this may already experience these day to day responsibilities. My two little blessings always seem to "need" something from me...breakfast, diaper change, a snuggle, visit to the potty, face wiped, hands wiped, other places wiped, bottle, drink of milk, snack, help with something, fix an owie, water cup, lunch, is it really only lunch? I haven't even gotten started on the household duties. However, I wouldn't trade this job for any other job. This is what I do and who I am. Some days it's overwhelming, frustrating, and emotional. Other days I am overjoyed, happy, and excited to see what my kids are learning.

As I continue to "find my place" outside of being a mom, I have really enjoyed using the gifts and talents God has given me. I've been inspired to enjoy the little things in life with my children and not wish time away, but I've also enjoyed having little bits of time where I can do the things that I enjoy. It's exactly what I need to be refreshed. I have my husband to thank for being so supportive of me and giving me those times away, whether it be a quick shopping trip, a night to scrapbook, or just some extra Saturday morning sleeping in time. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful, understanding, and loving husband...not to mention two beautiful children who are "my world". How did this get so sappy, I do not know, but man, I am one lucky wife and mom!


The other night I was joking with my husband at dinner as he walked into a clean house with take out Teriyaki in his hands. Sometimes, Babe, you get one or the other...not both.

Clean house, take out.
Dirty house, dinner on the table.
Simple as that.

savoring the moment

Last night and every night (even naptime) before I lay my daughter to sleep in her bed, she wants me to sing Amazing Grace. She lays her head on my shoulder and I softly sing the words as I sway her back and forth. This tradition started one night probably 8 months ago. I began singing the first thing that came to my mind...and to this day our nightly routine lives on and her only request is Amazing Grace. These moments are more memorable than any sort of milestone (i.e. crawling, walking). These are the moments where I close my eyes and think back to when my little girl was a tiny newborn that would snuggle in my arms and lay on my chest. These are the moments where I want time to stand still and to remember exactly how it feels to be holding her in my arms. Savoring these kinds of moments are priceless and I don't want them to end. Ever.

Just recently I read a blog where a mother had lost her 5-year old daughter to a drowning one year ago this month. I couldn't help but break down in tears as my heart ached for this mother who has lost one of the most precious things to her. I was encouraged to read how she has gained the courage to take steps in rising above the grief and agony that could potentially pull her down (although still feeling the pain on a daily basis, I'm sure). Her and her family have been able to celebrate her sweet little girl's life with the beatiful memories they created while she was here with them.

All that to say, it made me realize how each moment that I have on this Earth with my babies (husband, family, and friends, too) is a gift from God. I don't want to take for granted the little things because I'm hurrying to get to the next "phase of life" that always seems like it will be so much easier (until you get there) . On those hard days where I feel like giving up, I must remember that EVERY day is a day to savor a moment, no matter how difficult or beautiful that moment is.

not the compliment I was looking for...

We recently purchased the movie Madagascar (thanks to Target's great DVD sales!). Mikayla hasn't watched many movies, but we thought she was old enough to add a few cute ones to the DVD library. Within the last few weeks that we have had it, she's probably seen it 1/2 a dozen times or so (if I'm truly being honest). Anyway, for those of you who have little kiddos and have seen the movie, you may know the part I'm about to explain.

There is a part in the beginning of the video where the animals are at the NYC Zoo and they are showing off to all the people. In one of the shots you can see the hippo, Gloria, swimming through the water doing twists and turns and at one point the hippo jumps into the air and shows off for the camera. At that exact moment, without fail, Mikayla shouts out "MOMMY HIPPO!" (and I mean shouts it).






Uh, what?

Not quite the compliment I was looking for...

two kids, one mom - outnumbered

No pictures for this posting, just some funny stories:

Yesterday my little "Houdini" (aka Austin boy) managed to somehow escape from his exersaucer...seriously (this is his 2nd time in the 4 or 5 months we've owned the thing). I left the room with him in it and came back and he was crawling around. And Mikayla was with me, so I know she wasn't the culprit. Just a few minutes earlier, he had managed to snag a french toast stick off his sister's breakfast plate (still in the exersaucer, mind you). All I heard while I was in the back bedroom was Mikayla saying, "No, no buddy!" I come running out to find Austin holding a french toast stick and huge chunk in his mouth.



Today Mikayla somehow managed to lock me in my own bedroom. We have a childproof lock on our door and I had gone in my bedroom to get a couple minutes of peace to put on my makeup, and locked the door behind me. Mikayla didn't care for this too much and I heard her "fighting" to get in. A few short minutes later, I unlocked the door to get out of my room and turned the handle, but it was still locked. I do admit I panicked a bit. I tried to get Mikayla to undo the child-proofing, but with no success. So, to make a long story short, I had to climb out my window and go around to the front to open the garage to get back into the house.


My two kiddos...always keeping me on my toes!